Sex’ing with the Ex

Would you have sex with your ex? Do you have sex with your ex? Would you get back together with an ex after a break-up? These are just some of the questions that researchers are beginning to ask.

Because shockingly, researchers actually know very little when it comes to sex with the ex!!!

Actually almost nothing. And even less than nothing when it comes to sex with an ex you weren’t married to.

So what do we have here? Well we have a study that was just published that explored just this: relationship churning (the fancy term that the researchers came up with to describe this back and forth. Specifically, a disruption was defined as a break-up that led to reconciliation (regardless of how long the reconciliation lasted for).

High school students were followed for a number of years and then between the ages of 17 to 24, researchers asked them about sex’ing with the ex. 792 people reported in the past 2 years, they had dated someone or were currently in a relationship. Of these people, 427 reported that yes, they had had sex with an ex (as long as they had dated this ex within the past 2 years) or had broken up with someone. Cheating didn’t count.

And what did the researchers find?

–       44% of people report that they have experienced at least one disruption in the past 2 years

–       If you’ve had at least one disruption, you’ve had an average of 2.44 disruptions (in the past 2 years)

–       Disruptions = longer relationships (do you count the time when you were technically ‘On a break’???) but those relationships are rife with conflict and less commitment

–       Even if there is no formal reconciliation, 53% had sex with the ex and…..85% of people who had sex with the ex reported that this lead to a reconciliation

–       In total, 25% of the sample have had both sex with the ex and experienced some type of reconciliation

–       Most people who report having sex with the ex also report having sex with someone else during this time. Let’s talk about condom use, shall we?

So what does this mean about breaking up?

Break ups don’t necessarily lead to sex with the ex or reconciliation. But young adults seem more likely to experience these fluid transitions into relationships (hello, casual sex) and out of relationships (sex with the ex).

Click here for a link to the radio discussion.

Let me just say we do have a thing called “a remember”, actually “to do a remember”, which means that u need to remember how sex was before u can get over the breakup. it is mandatory for all exes to have one remember night before u can move on. helps clean up the mess…or leave a bigger one. its been known that couples who do not “do a remember” cant really forget nor forgive the other part. its a needed closing.